I have a short blurb on my website about why I chose “Khaos” as part, or rather, the core concept of my branding.
And it’s actually funny, because I got advice against it.
“Chaos usually means something negative.”
“How are people going to guess you’re a coach?”
And I think that’s probably why I like this word so much.
Let’s start with the obvious.
Khaos with a K, rather than Chaos.
Two purposes, honestly.
My name is Kristy, so that’s kinda cool.
It’s also part of its original Greek spelling. I won’t bore you with the details, but just know we are not making up random shit over here.
But that’s surface level. Por arribita, diría mami.
Most importantly, I clicked with the word Khaos because it made me feel almost pride in how many versions of me get to exist at once. Porque hago de todo. Y también soy un bendito desorden. Y me amo así. Because the word khaos confuses people. But so do I.
Why not pilatesbykris or coachkristy?
Because honestly, that’s not all I am.
A mí me encanta ser todo.
Y hacer de todo.
I love experimenting with new things.
Me encanta probar y fallar.
Me encanta tener miedo y después dejarlo atrás.
That’s part of why you will never hear me say the words “I would never.”
People say it back almost like a compliment.
When I talk about jumping out of planes.
When I talk about signing up for a half Ironman.
When I say yes to things before I feel ready.
“I would never.”
Pero why would you think you would never?
Why decide that about yourself ahead of time?
I personally woul never will.
And while I decide what “will” entails, soy caóticamente yo.
Not chaotic as in scattered.
Chaotic as in kinetic.
My life has never been one thing.
Marine, student, immigrant, consultant, coach, competitor, una niña linda también.
You get it.
I’ve never fit neatly into one box. And I don’t want to.
So let’s define my existence as structured and still wildly curious.
That tension. That motion. That constant building.
Personally, that’s how I, Kristy Mariann Gonzalez, define Khaos.
Not disorder.
Movement. Kinetic energy.
And it’s part of something long-term. I don’t know exactly what it becomes yet tbh, but I know I’m building toward a space where people feel bold enough to be a little khaotic themselves.
To say hell yeah instead of maybe.
To intentionally bite off more than they can chew.
And then learn how to simply chew better.
Aunque en verdad…
It’s hard to launch a project. It’s hard to say out loud that you’re building something and mean it. Because once you say it, people can see it. They can measure it. They can watch it grow or not grow.
Posting the TikTok and hearing silence feels harder than finishing a race. Uploading the photo and getting 10 likes feels less rewarding than squatting more weight. Hosting a Khaotic Event and risking that no one shows up feels scarier than jumping out of a plane, which I have done over 20 times.
One is adrenaline.
The other is exposure.
And exposure si me asusta.
Porque… ¿y si no se da?
So here is me admitting that sometimes, me da miedo.
Miedo de intentarlo en público.
Miedo de que nadie lo vea.
Miedo de que sí lo vean.
And still, I keep TRYING to choose motion. Y de eso sí me enorgullezco un chin.
Every version of me that I’m proud of started as something uncertain. Marine. Princeton student. Half Ironman finisher. Consultant. Coach. None of those were guaranteed. They were decisions first. Confidence came later.
Maybe that’s the part we don’t talk about enough.
The part where you don’t feel ready.
The part where it’s quiet.
Donde uno se siente como loco.
I don’t know if Khaos has an end. Or if I’ll continue to define it as my permanent state of being.
Pero en vía de mientras…
I know I would rather be the person who tried than the one who said “I would never.”
And if you’re sitting on something right now that feels slightly ridiculous but also slightly exciting… I hope you choose motion too.
Even if it’s messy.
Even if it’s slow.
Even si nadie le da like a tu bendito TikTok.
Súbelo to’.
Y rompe.
Until next week.
xoxo,
Kris
